Single mother rant...

So, despite my spending half my paychecks each week, Micah lost his enrollment at his daycare (thankfully my mom paid some of it to get him back in).. my electric, water, and phone bills are coming up due but all of my money has been tied up with Micah's expenses.. everything I earn goes to him. I'm so frustrated right now because all of my pleas for help have been ignored, yet I'm the bad guy... I just wanna scream. I work and trying to go to school to have a better life; I'm raising 2yr old on my own - how am I trying to skrew him over?? Please, someone tell me how I, the parent in poverty that can barely afford juice for my son, is trying to "skrew over" anyone over, especially a man that gets paid more money for a child he resents. I'm just trying to survive! I can't survive off nothing.  This isn't back in the day when gas was cheap, the neighborhood grandma watched the kids for nothing, and bubble gum costed 5¢! Life is expensive; babies are expensive.

Am I wrong for expecting the father of my child, who makes significantly more than I do, to help pay his share?? The same man that left me while I was unemployed and pregnant, ignored me when I reached out to him, chose not to come spend time with his son until the possibility of higher child support was brought to his attention, originally took me to court to get out of paying child support, tried to trick me into signing over custody of our son to him by forging a document to submit to court by saying he can't get BAH if he doesn't and will give me the money, lies to everyone, and who tries to make himself out to be some sort of victim in all this mess? That man?

He complains that he's broke. He gang pay child support because he now has you pay rent and a car payment and other bills. What about my bills? My rent? The fact that I can't het groceries got out child to eat. If those were worries of his, he should have stayed in the barracks. I didn't tell him to get a new car or to get an apartment. Why should I care when this same man walked away from his son while he was screaming and crying to be picked up while I was cooking. Its funny that he expected me to sign over custody for money. I can't even rely on him to pay it with a court order.

I just needed to vent.

I'm so ready for the next chapter because this one sucks..

Location : 2403-2423 Wilma Rudolph Blvd, Clarksville, TN 37040,
holysht, that's me!

Lipozene: third week

In my last review, I talked about my initial experience with lipozene to include the shitting my pants episode. I'm now done with one bottle of lipozene and starting the next tomorrow.

So, I skipped a few doses and started eating some carbs, you know, to make my poop form so I could stop peeing out of my butt lol. That seems to have worked. I haven't had a good bowel movement in a couple of days, that I can remember but I'm starting to feel a little bloated, so we'll see....

Speaking of bloating, I want to point out that for the first couple of weeks I really didn't want to eat anything due to the nausea and lack of appetite, but for the past couple of days, it seems I can't stop eating! I need to say, though, I've had a lot going on so stress is probably playing a part in all that, or my body trying to nurish (spelling?) itself after being starved and dehydrated for a couple of weeks.

I also want to mention that I really haven't bern exercising, at all. I do feel lipozene would help me lose more weight if I was actually engaging in some type of cardio. I will, eventually... lol. I don't expect a diet pill to do all the work; I know there's no miracle weight loss solution, but I will not hide the fact that I am lazy and tired. Once I get back into the groove of things, I'll be well on my way to being a sexy mama. MILF status, here I come! Lol!

Location : 2403-2423 Wilma Rudolph Blvd, Clarksville, TN 37040,
holysht, that's me!

Flat iron.....

I dunno why, but my flat iron was really calling my name tonite. I wanted to wait until I was a year in, but thought I'd just try it out.

Let me just say, I'm not even halfway thru and I now remember why i cut it in the first place. My arms hurt and I was very bored.

A few notes: definitely should have bothered to detangle beforehand. My ends are a bit knotty. Next time, i will try washing and blow drying too before I attempt this again. The top half is pretty smooth, but the ends are looking rather frayed. The "curls" settled at the bottom where I was holding it straight so the heat just glided over them.

I used grapeseed oil as a protectant, because I didn't have anything else.

I won't say this was a fail, just incomplete since I didn't even finish. I'll try it again in a few days. Maybe. I'll put some rollers in for the finish. My hair still, obviously is not at the length I want so maybe I won't bother with it for a few months.

I may try twisting it tonite though after I wash my hair. I do need to practice flat twisting.

..............

Nah. Wash and go, you are my friend lol

Location : 2403-2423 Wilma Rudolph Blvd, Clarksville, TN 37040,
holysht, that's me!

Lipozene

I recently put on 15lbs, which is opposite of the direction I want to go. Weighing in at 178, I had to get serious about losing weight. I refuse to be huge.

While I do know what it takes to lose weight, I opted for the "easy" way. I saw a 2fer pack of lipozene for 20 which is why I picked it up at walmart over the hydroxycut.

Anyway, I can definitely say this stuff is curbing my appetite. Not only do I not want to eat in my mind, but food itself makes me nauseas no matter how hungry I am. I do feel like I have slightly more energy as well.

I honestly believe lipozene has helped me to lose 3lbs last week, however, its not without side effects.. the slight anxiety is a nuisance, the nausea is a little off putting and the unbelievably toxic gas can be polluting.. these though are all barable. The real complaint, the issue I just cannot deal with, the one thing that may force me to toss these pills to the wind is: the unpredictable bowel incontinence!! I have shit myself like 3times!! Twice last night in bed :/... I mean, its usually following a long round of fogger, but that ain't good.

Are 3lbs really worth shitting myself?? I just don't know... I am desperate to lose weight, but am I really? I wear white pants at work.... that won't end well.

I'm in my second week of taking lipozene. I've definitely lowered my dosage to 2 per day vs the instructed 6 capsules (2 capsules 30 minutes before meals, up to 3 times per day, although the most I took was 4).. I even skip days just so that I can eat and get relief from the bloating, cramps and poisonous farts. 

I'm thinking about it, hard. More than half of this blog was typed up from my bathroom during another episode of violent diarrhea. I will say this much, if you try the lipozene, invest in a butt plug or depends and always stay within 2yds of a toilet lol. People that say these pills don't work couldn't have been taking the same ones as I am: not only can I not eat, I've been shitting out anything that does happen to enter my mouth almost immediately.

I'll update more on this, be it that I quit taking them or ran to my local pharmacy for some padded protection lol.

Location : 2403-2423 Wilma Rudolph Blvd, Clarksville, TN 37040,
holysht, that's me!

Twist out 2

Ok, I flat twisted my hair last night. My results were less than stellar. I wore it though, all day. I didn't use any product when I twisted it, but I did rub a little of the curling souffle over it after it was loose to help with some of the frizz.

I have a party to go to tomorrow. I dunno if I should attempt this again or just bare the twa..  my arms were hurting last night and its not long enough in the back. I dunno if its worth fooling with again

Location : 2403-2423 Wilma Rudolph Blvd, Clarksville, TN 37040,
holysht, that's me!

Style attempts

Ok, I've just attempted to flat twist my hair since my big chop. The top I actually had no issues with, but the back was still a little too short. If I were more patient, I could probably do some tiny two-strand twists, but chunky is fastest.

After my experience with the Shea moisture on my two strand twists a couple blog entries ago, I didn't use anything on my hair. Just my suave naturals everlasting sunshine (my new leave in conditioner).

Speaking of suave naturals. I'm considering bringing some cones back into my "regimen", which right now consists of cowashing then adding a bit of gel. I dunno though. The "no poo" thing is going pretty well. My moisture level is pretty good, breakage isn't a huge problem and neither are knots.

Perhaps if I change it to low poo. Shampooing once a month. I can't not wet my hair everyday. I tried it for a week... oh, update to that week challenge in the next blog.

Might be next weeks challenge: Using cones

Location : 2403-2423 Wilma Rudolph Blvd, Clarksville, TN 37040,
holysht, that's me!

Potty training

Micah is home potty trained, mostly. He will use the potty at home, but not anywhere else.

Just a few moments ago, Micah sat on the potty to go peeped.. I'm so proud of him. Unfortunately, he doesn't know how to pull his pants down yet :/. We're getting there. That's what's important.

Go team Micah! Lol.

Location : 2403-2423 Wilma Rudolph Blvd, Clarksville, TN 37040,
holysht, that's me!